At-Home Mother Artist Session
From Laura herself:
I do this thing where I paint murals for my daughters. This is the third one I’ve done in the past few years, and it was easily the hardest — truthfully, the most difficult painting I’ve ever done. Most of July you could find me dabbing paint onto this 10’x10’ wall at midnight while my family slept and I listened to entrepreneurial podcasts. I was often so engrossed in this practice that I didn’t notice the paint in my own hair until the next day (at which point I had to cut it out).
Harley loves Disney princess stuff so the theme was easy: Sleeping Beauty castle that felt like you could actually step into it. I envisioned her curls bouncing as she twirled in nylon gowns falling off her shoulders, imagining she’s Repunzel about to touch grass for the first time or Cinderella singing with her mouse friends as she dreams about a life beyond captivity.
It was about halfway through I realized I was mostly painting this for myself.
More and more of my conversations lately have revolved around the mini identity crisis that occurs when you’re middle aged and realize life is not slowing down and what are you even doing with your time and and and…
(If perimenopause has recently been introduced into your vocabulary I might be talking about you)
In high school I often pulled all-nighters to paint. It was my entire identity. I painted my clothes — even my prom dress — and (cringey confession time!) wore berets and felt *oh so proud* at looking and acting the part. As life progressed I stopped painting as much, with writing and photography becoming new passions, and frankly work and a host of other excuses taking the front seat. But I wasn’t fooling myself. Painting has always been my first love; I just wasn’t sure I had the courage to do the thing properly, to REALLY make something of it.
This mural, this gift to my daughter, became a permission slip to myself. To simply be. To practice. To never stop learning. To never stop pursuing. To never stop creating.
Ashlee Gadd is a family, maternity, & newborn photographer based in Sacramento CA. She specializes in beautiful lived-in photos and shoots documentary style, captured on a mix of digital and 35mm film. Serving Sacramento, the Bay Area, Tahoe, and surrounding areas.
